Uan

uan, sebenarnya uan tempat mengetes kemampuan, apakah seseorang telah bisa atau berhak menuju jenjang pendidikan selanjutnya. akan tetapi pada jaman sekarang lulus uan hanya sebagai bahan agar tak dihina orang. sebenarnya murid menjadi tertekan karena semua orangtua memaksa meluluskan anaknya walaupun anaknya dikatakan tidak kuat otak,
biasanya orang tua yg seperti itu malu bila anaknya tidak lulus, tapi sepertinya semua orang tua malu bila anaknya tidak lulus Uan. ok itu wajar bukan tetapi kenapa mesti curang?

3tahun lamanya belajar dan hanya 4 hari berjuang menuju kemenangan/ kesengsaraan.

Drugs

narkoba buat hidup kita sengsara, karena narkoba bisa membuat kecanduan
apabila kita telalu bnyk mengunakan narkoba maka kita akan terkena OD(over dosis)
Narkoba atau NAPZA merupakan bahan/zat yang bila masuk ke dalam tubuh akan mempengaruhi tubuh terutama susunan syaraf pusat/otak sehingga bilamana disalahgunakan akan menyebabkan gangguan fisik, psikis/jiwa dan fungsi sosial.
Napza adalah singkatan dari Narkotika, Pasikotropika dan Zat adiktif
Jenis Narkotika yang sering disalahgunakan adalah morfin, heroin (putauw), petidin, termasuk ganja atau kanabis, mariyuana, hashis dan kokain.

"Big Weenie"

I don't understand
Why are you being so mean?
You're mean mean man

[Chorus]
You are just jealous of me
Cuz you, you just can't do what I do
So instead of just admitting it
You walk around and say
All kinds of really mean things
About me cuz you're a meanie, a meanie
But it's only cuz you're
Just really jealous of me
Cuz I'm what you want to be
So you just look like an idiot
When you say these mean things
Cuz it's too easy to see
You're really just a big weenie, big weenie

[Verse 1]
Alright listen, I need you to focus
I need you to go dig deep in your mind, this is important
We are going to perform an experiment of the sorts
I'm going to have to ask you to bear with me for a moment
Now I need you to open your mind-your eyes close them
You are now about to be placed under my hypnosis
For the next four and a half minutes
We are going to explore into your mind
To find out why you're so fuckin' jealous
Now why did they make Yoo-Hoo?
Hippity ga-ga boo-boo
Psych, I'm kidding
I just wanted to see if you're still listenin'
Ok, now I need your undivided attention
Sir I have a question
Why do I always sense this undeniable tension
From the moment that I enter into the room
It gets all quiet and whispers
Whenever theres conversation, why am I always mentioned?
I've been dying to ask, it's been itchin' at me
Is it just because

[Chorus]
You are just jealous of me
Cuz you, you just can't do what I do
So instead of just admitting it
You walk around and say
All kinds of really mean things
About me cuz you're a meanie, a meanie
But it's only cuz you're
Just really jealous of me
Cuz I'm what you want to be
So you just look like an idiot
When you say these mean things
Cuz it's too easy to see
You're really just a big weenie, big weenie

[Verse 2]
Alright now I, I just flubbed a line
I was going to say something extremely important
But I forgot who or what it was, I fucked up
Psych, I'm kidding again you idiot, no I didn't
That's just what you wanted to hear from me
Is that I fucked up ain't it?
But I can bust one take without lookin' at no paper
It doesn't take a bunch of takes
Or me to stand here in this booth all day
For me to say the truth, ok?
You're droolin, you have tooth decay
Your mouth is open, you're disgusting
What the fuck you eat for lunch
A bunch of sweets or something, what?
You munch a bunch of Crunch 'N Munch?
Your tooth is rotten to the gum
Your breath stinks, wanna chew some gum?
Yes I do sir, what am I on?
You sir are on truth syrum
Marshall I'm so jealous of you
Please say you won't tell nobody
I'd be so embarrassed, I'm just absolutely terrified
That someone's gonna find out why I'm saying
All these terrible, evil and awful mean things
It's my own insecurity!

[Chorus]
You are just jealous of me
Cuz you, you just can't do what I do
So instead of just admitting it
You walk around and say
All kinds of really mean things
About me cuz you're a meanie, a meanie
But it's only cuz you're
Just really jealous of me
Cuz I'm what you want to be
So you just look like an idiot
When you say these mean things
Cuz it's too easy to see
You're really just a big weenie, big weenie

[Verse 3]
Alright now we, we're going to conduct
That experiment that we were talking about earlier
Just to see what a frog looks like when it takes two hits of ecstasy
Cuz that's exactly what your eyes look like, want to check to see?
Here's a mirror, notice the resemblence here?
Wait, let me put these sun glasses on
Now look in this mirror, how about now?
What do you have in common?
You're both green with envy and look like idiots with sunglasses on 'em
You look like I sound like singing about weenies
Now take my weenie out of your mouth
This is between me and you, I know you're not happy
I know you'd much rather see me lying in the corner of a room somewhere crying
Curled up in a ball tweeked out of my mind dying
There is no denying that my weenie is much bigger than yours is
Mine is like sticking a banana between two oranges
Why you even doing this to yourself, it's pointless
Why do we have to keep on going through this, this is tortuous
My point is this
That if you say mean things, weenie will shrink
Now I fogot what the chorus is, your just is...

[Chorus]
You are just jealous of me
Cuz you, you just can't do what I do
So instead of just admitting it
You walk around and say
All kinds of really mean things
About me cuz you're a meanie, a meanie
But it's only cuz you're
Just really jealous of me
Cuz I'm what you want to be
So you just look like an idiot
When you say these mean things
Cuz it's too easy to see
You're really just a big weenie, big weenie

Ponari Sweat

Fenomena khasiat air dukun cilik Ponari telah membius berjuta orang. Bahkan mereka rela ngantri berdesak-desakan, berhari-hari, dari daerah asal yg jauh disana, bahkan ada yang mati keinjak-injak segala, sampai akhirnya praktek dukun cilik Ponari harus dihentikan polisi.

Beberapa hari lalu, air comberan rumah ponari puh jadi rebutan. Kemudian, banyak orang yang mengusulkan supaya batunya ponari dicelupkan ke telaga atau laut, supaya bisa dimanfaatkan oleh semua orang.

Nah,.. kini harapan itu bukan cuma harapan lagi. Karena kini air berkhasiat Ponari telah diproduksi masal, dan telah masuk ke rak-rak utama supermarket di seluruh pelosok tanah air,..

Berikut ini adalah foto-foto air berkhasiat dari dukun cilik Ponari:

Namaku Sentot

Seorang ayah mempunyai tiga putri yang cantik dan menarik serta populer di kalangan para pemuda. Karena itu setiap malam minggu si ayah terpaksa harus bekerja ekstra untuk mengawasi para pemuda yang datang mengajak putrinya berkencan.

Begitulah pada suatu malam minggu terdengar bel berdering.Si ayah membuka pintu dan di hadapannya berdiri seorang pemuda yang memperkenalkan diri. “Nama saya Nanang, saya hendak menjemput Endang, kami hendak berenang, sudah siapkah sekarang?”

Si ayah meneruskan pesan tersebut ke belakang dan tak lama kemudian keluarlah Endang untuk pergi memenuhi ajakan pacarnya berenang.

Beberapa saat kemudian bel berdering lagi. “Nama saya Marti, ” kata pemuda dipintu itu memperkenalkan diri. Saya hendak menjemput Sunarti, kami hendak makan spagheti, sudah siapkah ia menanti?”

Si ayah meneriakkan pesan itu ke belakang dan keluarlah Sunarti. Dan baru saja si ayah hendak duduk di kursi, terdengar lagi bel berdering. Datang lagi seorang pemuda memperkenalkan diri.

“Nama saya Sentot. Saya hendak menjemput Margot…”

Dan dengan serta merta si ayah langsung membanting pintu. “Tidak bisa, b#####t!”<< sensor

Humor

-: Kenapa di dalam bajaj nggak ada nyamuk? 

+: Karena nyamuk sini cuma takut tiga roda

-: Majalah apa paling mahal?

+: Bobo ama gadis